Put it all on me
by withered
Summary: When Ichigo's phone buzzes, he assumes it's a reminder to buy milk on the way home, instead the text reads: "I'm pregnant." And Ichigo. Did not see this coming.
1. Tumblr prompt: Pregnancy

Tumblr request by Anon

_._

Put it all on me

_._

_I'm pregnant._

Ichigo. Did not see this coming.

He should've.

Conception isn't so much an accident as it as a lucky draw, and considering the number of bets they've placed, and _well..._

Honestly, he just - kind of assumed it wasn't a thing.

Which he had no right to think, all things considered, he and his sisters are proof enough of the possibility, but he can be shocked. He's allowed to be. And if he's pissed off, it's only because (A) his dad won't stop talking shit and telling everyone he runs into that _he's having a grandchild _and (B) Rukia told him via text. Text. Like she's afraid of telling him to his face which is bullshit because Rukia isn't scared of anything except _this, _obviously_._

And to make matters worse, Rukia isn't answering her phone and come morning, Byakuya is at his door.

_Byakuya_.

Fuck.

It's a stiff conversation that manages to offend them both equally from what the kid's last name will be:

"Shiba is recognized in Soul Society, though just like Kuchiki it will put them in the line of hierarchical succession and -"

"Stop, you're saying more words than I'm comfortable with hearing, and I don't like any of them."

The living situation:

"I will not allow my sister and her child to live in squalor."

"Why you–!"

To what Ichigo's intentions are:

"We've been involved since I turned eighteen," he reminds, and it pains him to put a number to it because it's no one's business, for one, for another it feels cheapened almost - like anything they've ever become to one another can be so easily and neatly spliced into a Before and After segment - like Ichigo can recall the exact moment his own feelings started to turn from one of platonic friendship and gratitude, like he hasn't been driven slowly insane by how much he could care for someone else the way he does Rukia.

"Time is inconsequential, we're death gods, Kurosaki. There is forever or there is nothing, which will it be?"

Ichigo suppresses the urge to get into a fight, his eye twitching, because _Rukia loves this asshole, goddamn it, _and says through grit teeth, "Do you really have to ask, after everything we've been through, after everything that's happened?"

"One could allow that it was a product of circumstance, of consequence. I wouldn't begrudge Rukia of that."

"Okay, that's it -"

Byakuya leaves, satisfied - or as satisfied as he can be - and Ichigo tries not to get his panic everywhere when Rukia still doesn't come home.

Fortunately for everyone, the general populace of Soul Society and Hueco Mundo, and god knows where else Ichigo decides she may be, Rukia appears through his window in the middle of the night - and Ichigo thinks the vague sense of déjà vu is earned given how his life had changed so completely the first time she'd done it - and she's…nervous, and it actually kills him how the first words out of her mouth are, "I'm sorry."

Like she has anything to apologize for - like somehow she'd made a baby on her own - like he'd want her less because -

"You're fucking impossible, you know that?" he huffs, and it pulls at some ugly part of him when she flinches because it's making him pissed off all over again. First, she'd avoided him, and now she's acting like he'll hate her when all he's been doing is worrying about where the hell she is and _what if it's her that doesn't want anything we are, _before he's off on a tirade about, "You always give me shit for not talking to you, why did you just disappear on me? Do you want me to tear apart Soul Society again to bring you home, because you know I will."

And again, Rukia is apologizing, and avoiding his eyes and saying things like, "I know this isn't what you want."

Hold up.

"What I want," he begins after a stabilizing breath, "is for you not to run off and think you're alone. You always give me shit about doing that crap, you can't pull it on me too. Only one of us gets to be the brash idiot in this relationship and we agreed that it would be me."

At that, she gives an unwilling snort, a slight smile curling at her mouth.

His next exhale is relieved, a rush of endorphins on its own - _it's not me, it's not me, we can fix this, we can _which is the thought that ends with her crying, and it feels like his stomach drops. "Rukia, Rukia, no, why are you...Rukia," he's saying her name like it'll make the tears stop, and he's holding her so tightly like he could keep her together by sheer force of will, and she's trembling and shaking, and _oh god, please don't - _

"We didn't plan for this - we're not - we're not ready for this," is her almost angry declaration, muffled by his shirt and the fact that she doesn't want to look at him.

"I know it's not - it isn't ideal." He just started his residency at the hospital, she's just become one of the higher-ranked officers in her squad; they live between two worlds, for god's sake it isn't - it isn't going to be easy, but it isn't beyond them. They've handled bigger and badder, and _worst_, but only because they needed to - and having a baby, raising a child together, that's not - it's not a need, it's not an obstacle, Ichigo would tear through the world if it meant Rukia was happy, and if a baby wouldn't make her happy then -

"Ichigo, I'm scared," she admits in a harsh whisper, and his breath this time is measured, and loud in his own ears, and shaky despite himself.

"I know," he murmurs in her hear. "Me too."

She's sniffling, her eyes are red when she finally pulls away. Even though she leans into his touch, closes her eyes as he sweeps his thumb over the apple of her cheek, and kisses back when he presses his lips against hers, still her voice is quiet, hesitant, as she asks, "What do you...want?"

Ichigo rests his forehead against hers, feels the watery flick of her lashes against his skin as she blinks but keeps her eyes lowered. She's not just scared of having a child, she's scared he'll - what? Leave her? He breathes out, quiet and mournful, wondering how badly he'd fucked up for her to even think it's a possibility, and he tightens his arms around her as if somehow the way he clings back will be enough of an answer. "What I want is you, no matter what."

"But a baby -"

"If you don't...if you don't want children, that's not - it's not a dealbreaker. You're who I want, and if it just means you and I annoy each other until the end of everything, so be it." Again, there's that huff of a laugh, the phantom of a smile at the corner of her mouth, and he presses into it with his thumb, tilts her head so she meets his eyes, and says, "But if this is something you want - something I can give you - something we can have together, then - time is something we have, and it doesn't have to be right now."

Her eyes look glassy again. "What if I want it now?"

He huffs out a laugh of his own. "Like you'd ever give me the chance to say no."

At that, she chuckles, going up on her toes to kiss him again, tacking on, _idiot, what were we thinking _and_ of course, this is what we get for playing hooky instead of going to meetings _and _you probably failed your lab so we could conceive, I don't how you're going to live with that._

Ichigo snickers, sweeping her off her feet easily before coming to sit on the couch, Rukia in his lap and pointedly ignoring her protests as he presses his cheek against her chest, hand pressed to her still-flat stomach as he informs solemnly to the actual human being incubating in there, "Your dad's going to be a bum if biology is any indication, but your mom's got it covered."

Rukia's laugh is watery and quiet, but her smile is luminous and her eyes are bright, and it's ridiculous how much he loves her.

"Is this you saying yes?"

"This is me saying: Always - to the baby, to you, to any other surprises you want to take on, to us. You're stuck with me."

Equally solemn, Rukia's hand presses against his on her belly and says, "That's my bad, baby."

"Oi!"

* * *

**A/n:** Title taken from Ed Sheeran's Put it all on me. Head over on my tumblr at everything-withered to submit headcanon requests.


	2. Tumblr prompt: Birth

Tumblr request by Anon.

I was going to post this separately, but it takes place in the same universe. There isn't any real storyline to this though, so every chapter is "complete".

_._

Put it all on me

_._

There's a birthing plan and a binder and a Lamaze schedule, and Rukia and Ichigo have zero to do with it.

(But Rukia's grateful which is about the only reason Ichigo doesn't set it all alight, and only gives a cursory complaint to the PowerPoint presentation his family - and Byakuya - insist on. Dad takes roll call. Renji takes notes. Chad has a playlist. There's a refreshment table. He has no idea why Urahara and Yoriuchi are here, and he's frankly too scared to ask.)

The point is: the birth is _planned. _

The freaks who've decided that his child is under their protection - and for all his griping, _Ichigo is grateful_ \- have accounted for, and created contingencies for just about everything from an early birth, a birth in a moving vehicle, a stress-induced birth and one where everything happens as scheduled and Rukia gives birth in an inflatable pool (Ichigo isn't going to admit how many papers he's read on that phenomena or why he's got an opinion on it).

While Rukia had been worried, even with the number of plans they've come up with to avoid it, that the birth would happen inconveniently - during a fight or a Hollow hunt or in the middle of training recruits - neither of them expected that the birth _not happening _would be just as bad.

Baby Kurosaki is two weeks late.

"Spicy food could help," Tatsuki suggests after a frantic Ecosia search.

To which Yuzu chimes in, "If it doesn't, I've read red raspberry leaf tea will do just the thing."

"Acupuncture," Byakuya decides to Dad's condescending tsk. "Why bother with any of that when there are other more _fun _ways to induce labor?"

The silence that follows is a physical thing, and Ichigo can practically hear his father's eyebrows wiggle.

"Baka," Karin declares, "they're already having your grandchild, don't make it weirder than it already is!"

"But Rukia-chan could still get pregnant, Kurosaki swimmers are A-grade - _ack, Karin!" _

Ichigo sighs, shooting Rukia an apologetic look - she's been uncomfortable the entire third trimester, and as she's often told him _I want this baby out of me, Ichigo _which is probably why, his idiot father's bullshit aside, they had tried that trick a few times, and clearly that didn't work.

In the end, they go to a hospital in Soul Society lest the result of their baby's Kurosaki genes also includes a spiritual pressure strong enough to attract Hollows which is item number 3 in the pregnancy binder; the doctors induce labor and Ichigo feeds her ice-chips and tries not to freak out all over Rukia while she does all the work.

The birth takes eighteen hours in all.

Rukia curses him multiple times between pained gasps, and at one stage, has him bound in kido for an hour along with the threat to castrate him.

(Ichigo pointedly ignores how Byakuya and Renji step up to the plate like they're willing to risk it all to make it happen, _just say the word Rukia. _That Unohana is just amused and not concerned, does not bode well for Ichigo, but frankly, he's too distracted by the hand Rukia's crushing to really give it the attention it deserves.)

Overall though, from a medical standpoint, the birth is surprisingly calm with an undertow of 'first baby' jitters.

But their families are there, they've got endless support from both sides of the veil, and Rukia's pregnancy has been almost boringly normal, and really, that's about as much as they can ask for.

Still, Rukia swears up and down that it'll be the first and last time.

Until, of course, they find out that superfetation is a thing.

Turns out, Dad may have had a point about Kurosaki swimmers, baby number two is already in the oven.

With their newborn in "Grandpa's" arms, Dad teases to the wrinkly little bundle in his arms, to both Rukia and Ichigo's combined panicked horror, "Who knows, little bean, maybe you'll even get two siblings instead of one! Twins do run in our family, you know."

Ichigo shoots Rukia an apologetic look to which she deadpans, "You're never touching me again."

* * *

**A/n:** FFN is super buggy so I answer reviews on the ao3 version of the fic and also at my tumblr at everything-withered where you can also submit headcanon requests. Also, Ecosia is the new Google - because they plant trees with every search, and because I say so.


	3. Tumblr prompt: PTA meeting

Tumblr request by Anon.

_._

Put it all on me

_._

Rukia does not claim to be a Cool Mom, she just is. It's how it works. She's always had a fantastic relationship with her kids which Ichigo claims is purely based on the fact that Rukia herself is a child.

But that's not an argument Rukia is going to get into, mainly because:

"Really, Ichigo, height jokes? Haven't you grown past that?"

"Why? It doesn't look like you did," he drawls.

Anyway.

She looks the part on a daily basis of being the Cool Mom: When she isn't in her Shinigami robes, she's dressed in a comfortable shirt and shorts combination with variations of skirts thrown in between. There's no time to look fancy or pretty when you're half-heartedly sparring with your brats in the backyard, and not when Masaki's hobby of the week is painting, or when Kaien has just discovered how fun puddles are.

It's why Rukia makes a concerted effort to dress up a little more.

She rarely gets the opportunity, for one, and for another, Rukia wants to make a good impression especially since she hasn't been able to attend the others, and her absence has no doubt been noticed. She wants to look good.

And if Ichigo looks like he's seriously debating ditching the PTA meeting they're going to, to steal Rukia away for a night at some hotel, all the better.

(She'll make it up to him, he knows she will.)

Besides, usually, Ichigo goes to these things alone; the PTA meetings and the fundraisers.

Not because she's uninterested, she's just busy.

With Rukia rounding off her full-time duties in Soul Society before taking up the permanent post as Karakura's Shinigami representative, Rukia hasn't spent much alone with the kids since the paperwork for the position went through, and whenever she can, she and Ichigo have agreed that she'll get to catch up with them while Ichigo does their parental duties at the school the kids are enrolled at.

With her transfer finalized, this is the first PTA meeting Rukia's going to, and well, she hadn't realized there would be repercussions to Ichigo going alone besides the judgment that she's an "absent" mother.

"Should I be concerned that all the PTA moms assumed you were a single dad?" Rukia begins, dangerously calm as yet another woman eyes her distastefully when only seconds ago, she'd been fluttering her lashes at Ichigo.

"No."

"Really."

He squeezes her hand in his even as he throws a lazy smirk her way. "Jealous?"

She huffs. "No."

"Really."

Rukia gives him an unimpressed look, and decides almost belatedly, "I'm dressed too well for this."

He huffs out a laugh. "Okay?"

"They're the jealous ones," Rukia tells him, prim and proper, nose in the air and exuding such snobbish conceit that she wouldn't be out of place amongst the Court of Pure Souls. It kind of makes her sick. "You happen to be a good looking doctor who carts around our children and actively participates in their lives, _and you have the audacity to be happily married!_"

Amused, he echoes, "Oh?"

"They were probably hoping I was ugly," Rukia decides, "or that our marriage was on the rocks. Quick, kiss me before they think that!"

"Romance is dead," he tells her, dutifully dropping a kiss against her forehead which makes her pout even as he snakes his hand around her waist, palm resting innocently against the curve of her lower back. "And just so you know, no one thinks that."

Which only leads her to accuse, "You're so dense."

"Or maybe," Ichigo trails, "I'm too focused on our kids, and the fact that I get to drag my beautiful wife to these shitty meetings without wasting our alone time to care what other people think."

Sighing dramatically, Rukia pats his hand and coos sweetly, "It's adorable how you can be so naive."

"Rukia," he begins in a sigh, equally as dramatic and put upon.

"Don't worry," she assures with a wink, "naive or not, you're still getting lucky."

The next PTA meeting they attend Rukia doesn't put nearly as much effort in looking so put together - her hair's in a messy bun, she doesn't have makeup on, and she's essentially wearing her pajamas because she'd been building blanket forts with the kids before they'd left.

She thinks she sees some grudging approval in a few PTA moms' eyes, but joke's on them, it doesn't matter what she wears, Ichigo still holds her hand and looks embarrassingly in love with her.

For all that she touts how lucky Ichigo is (and how lucky he's going to be), Rukia knows she is too.


	4. Tumblr prompt: Daughter

A tumblr prompt by darkmadors

.

Masaki

.

Everyone says that Masaki takes right after her mother. Byakuya doesn't disagree.

She has Rukia's impish grin; the same, delicate cherubic features; the same soulful eyes, and the uncanny ability to wrap Ichigo around her finger, and Byakuya as well, truth be told. Though it was a hard-fought battle, and Byakuya is ashamed he even tried to resist, yet another thing she has in common with Rukia.

While it's easy to see where his niece and his sister overlap, Byakuya knows that she'll be nowhere near as easy as Rukia was.

Brought in, essentially, as an adult, his sister had been self-sufficient, and despite the controversy involved with her adoption, Rukia has always tried to be unobtrusive, keeping out of the way and doing what was expected of her.

Her daughter, by contrast, demands attention.

In Masaki's defense, she is a baby.

But the point stands; she's a lot more work.

She throws temper tantrums, babbles her back-talk, touches things she shouldn't; escapes her playpen and her babysitters like it's fun for her. Not to mention her spiritual pressure is strong enough to knock over at least half the recruits when she's in a snit. She's a menace, well and truly her father's daughter. Byakuya blames it on the orange hair, the most obvious trait of her sire, as the source of her sins. Clearly its detrimental to their gene pool.

Nonetheless, her parentage is without question and Byakuya would be relieved if the sum of his niece's parts, at her young age, meant that she was as capable at defending herself as Rukia and Ichigo are.

Both being captain-class Shinigami, Byakuya had vaguely entertained the notion that Masaki would enter the world with Rukia's control and Ichigo's strength.

As it stands, Masaki has yet to fully master gravity. An unruly pigeon could best her.

(And with that thought, he abruptly shuts all the windows.)

Byakuya swears he ages a decade taking his eyes off her for a minute. Not even putting her down for her naps help, he just ends up sitting there anxiously waiting for her to wake up again, a fact no in his division is allowed to talk about under pain of death.

He doesn't know how Rukia and Ichigo do it, doesn't see how they could because frankly (and between you and him, dear reader), Byakuya is terrified of her.


End file.
